darkhavens: text icon: 15 m/m pairings in dk purple, with paler txt darkhavens and even paler txt multifandom ho. (mcshep uhoh [literati])
[personal profile] darkhavens
Author: darkhavens
Title: Outed on WWP-69G
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard of Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: PG
Words: 851
Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Does Rodney look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands?
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] beadtific in return for a donation to [livejournal.com profile] the_fund.


Outed on WWP-69G

The women of the village welcomed Teyla with open arms, leaving Ford, John and Rodney feeling ignored and out of place.

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

Rodney, as per usual, went straight to the worst-case scenario. "I can't see a single man in the village apart from us. This could be some kind of Amazon tribe we've stumbled into, and they're about to kill us all or…" His eyes widened in horror. "Or they're going to use us to breed a new generation of their kind. There could be other men held prisoner, forced to rut like animals to propagate the species, but I don't see any children about either. They might…"

"Rodney." The exasperation in John's voice came though loud and clear, even as he moved closer and leaned into the ruffled scientist, comforting the man with his solid presence. "We've been here five minutes and no-one's tried to take our guns or even looked at us weird. How did you get from that to 'they're going to use us for sex'?"




The eldest of the villagers reached out and patted Teyla's arm, either in reassurance or in sympathy.

"I am sorry that your men have not yet gifted you with child. Perhaps if you kept those two out of each other's beds, they might be more willing to provide you with an heir." She smirked at the look of surprise on Teyla's face, then turned and quickly ran a connoisseur's eye over Ford. "However, the youngest one looks more than will to make up the difference."

Teyla blinked at the elder's knowing grin.

"I…" Teyla found she really didn't know what to say to that. The silence stretched and threatened to become awkward, and then the old crone's face crumpled up into a wizened, wicked grin.

"My apologies. I am used to speaking my mind without a second thought. I embarrassed you by questioning the loyalty of your men. I am sure they serve you first and well and put their own needs second. But, if you do not wish to keep a pair such as that, I'm sure we could come to some arrangement. Many of our women only have one or two husbands, and would certainly be willing to take one of yours off your hands.

"At present, the men are working on the latest crop of vines. There should be several hundred bales of fabric prepared by next high moon, and our dyers can produce a myriad of shades and colours. Come, see the samples we keep in the trading house, and bring the young one with you. I'm sure those two can entertain themselves."




"She said what? Wait. Wait! She thinks we're all your husbands and that the major and I are…?" Rodney looked everywhere but at John. "How did she come up with an idea like that? Do I look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands? Is it something in the way I hold my gun? The way I stand?"

Teyla tried hard not to smile. "Actually, they say it is how Major Sheppard keeps touching you. Physical contact - affection - like that is rarely seen amongst their men. To touch another so easily and to not be rebuffed speaks to them of affection returned. In their culture that signifies a relationship."

They both looked stunned.

"Now I will go and examine the trade goods and see what they will accept in return. I have already told them that I will be keeping all of my husbands, so you should not be bothered by any of the women checking you over for trade. Ford, the elder has asked that you accompany me to the trading house. We will return once a deal has been negotiated."

With a regal nod, and confident that Ford was at her back, Teyla returned to the waiting women and allowed them to lead the way.

Silence reigned for several minutes before Rodney finally noticed the expression on John's face. He exploded.

"Wait! So… So… You… Why didn't you tell me?! Or at least make it obvious you were interested!"

"Rodney, I wasn't sure you were…"

"Oh, please, Major! I let you hit me with sticks, fire a very real bullet at me, I even let you throw me off a balcony! Do you honestly think I'd let just anyone do that? You were bored and wallowing in guilt and I… I just wanted to make you smile. Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!"

Rodney grabbed a handful of shirt and reeled John in for a kiss born of realisation and months of harsh frustration. Hands roamed freely as tongues fought for dominance, and they were both flushed and panting when they parted to take a breath.

"You know this doesn't solve anything, right, Rodney? If we do this there are going to have to be rules; can you do discreet?" Rodney stole the rest of John's words with another sloppy kiss.

"I'll fake it."

on 2005-09-10 01:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] beadattitude.livejournal.com
I'll fake it.

HEE! I love it! Thank you so very much!

on 2005-09-10 01:24 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm so glad!

{{{hugs you}}}

Thanks! :D

on 2005-09-10 01:21 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bluebrocade.livejournal.com
haha. great ending. and this was too funny: Do I look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands? Is it something in the way I hold my gun? The way I stand?"

on 2005-09-10 01:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks!

In Rodney's head, it's always about Rodney. *g*

on 2005-09-10 01:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mcalex22.livejournal.com
*g* This was very funny! I loved Rodney's line:

...Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!"

Great story and love Teyla's reactions.

Hope to see more soon!

on 2005-09-10 01:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! I think Teyla has a very sly sense of humour that doesn't get nearly enough play. Nobody's that nice. *g*

There will certainly be more. :D

on 2005-09-10 01:28 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] scififreak.livejournal.com
I'm grinning from ear to ear. Very cute and enjoyable.

on 2005-09-10 01:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks. :D

on 2005-09-10 01:46 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] elayna88.livejournal.com
Very fun!

"We've been here five minutes and no-one's tried to take our guns or even looked at us weird. How did you get from that to 'they're going to use us for sex'?"

That cracked me up. Rodney is so neurotic at times.

on 2005-09-11 01:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! Rodney really is 'worst-case scenario man'. *g*

on 2005-09-10 01:58 am (UTC)
ext_21473: (Default)
Posted by [identity profile] neverbelonged.livejournal.com
/giggles/ I so love that! The end is just perfect! and of course Rodney would get mad cause they could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb! /laughs/ Great great job.

on 2005-09-11 01:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Of course, the fact that Rodney was completely oblivious is neither here nor there - it's all John's fault. *g*

on 2005-09-10 02:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lerah99.livejournal.com
Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!

:::Snort::: This is just too cute! It was the perfect thing to read after a hard day at work. You sure know how to start a girl's weekend right! I love when Rodney asks if it's the way he holds his gun. I also love that it's John who gives them away to the old woman. Thank you for posting this. :o)

on 2005-09-11 01:15 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
I'm glad I could start your weekend off with a giggle. :D

Thanks!

on 2005-09-10 03:02 am (UTC)
ext_953: Gabriel casually leaning against a wall (Destroy)
Posted by [identity profile] toniabarone.livejournal.com
"She said what? Wait. Wait! She thinks we're all your husbands and that the major and I are…?" Rodney looked everywhere but at John. "How did she come up with an idea like that? Do I look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands? Is it something in the way I hold my gun? The way I stand?"

*LOL* I LOVE how Rodney is so quick to defend his own honor.

Silence reigned for several minutes before Rodney finally noticed the expression on John's face. He exploded.

"Wait! So… So… You… Why didn't you tell me?! Or at least make it obvious you were interested!"

"Rodney, I wasn't sure you were…"

"Oh, please, Major! I let you hit me with sticks, fire a very real bullet at me, I even let you throw me off a balcony! Do you honestly think I'd let just anyone do that? You were bored and wallowing in guilt and I… I just wanted to make you smile. Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!"


*cackles* This whole exchange is SO classic Rodney!

"You know this doesn't solve anything, right, Rodney? If we do this there are going to have to be rules; can you do discreet?" Rodney stole the rest of John's words with another sloppy kiss.

"I'll fake it."


*LOL* Oh, THANK YOU for sharing this gem! Absolutely wonderful! Any chance for a follow-up? Pretty please?

on 2005-09-11 01:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
*LOL* I LOVE how Rodney is so quick to defend his own honor.

It's always all about Rodney, didn't you know that? *g*

Thanks! I don't know if there will be a follow-up to this, but there will certainly be more McShep coming from me. I adore the snarkiness and the pretty. *g*

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Posted by [identity profile] toniabarone.livejournal.com - on 2005-09-11 01:20 am (UTC) - Expand

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Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com - on 2005-09-11 01:33 am (UTC) - Expand

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Posted by [identity profile] toniabarone.livejournal.com - on 2005-09-11 01:39 am (UTC) - Expand

on 2005-09-10 03:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sarren.livejournal.com
Very cute :)

It's nice when they meet aliens and don't provoke them into attacking them, isn't it? *g*

on 2005-09-11 01:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
LOL! yes! And so very rare. *g*

Thanks. :D

on 2005-09-10 03:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ship-recs.livejournal.com
haha, very cute.

on 2005-09-11 01:19 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! :D

on 2005-09-10 03:46 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] cydah.livejournal.com
LOL, I LOVE Rodney's logic!

on 2005-09-11 01:21 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Rodney logic is a breed apart. *g*

Thanks!

on 2005-09-10 04:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sp23.livejournal.com
Hee! Loved this and the ending line was perfect. Except, Rodney - the face of a thousand expressions - will give it all away before they even get back to Atlantis. *g*

on 2005-09-11 01:23 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
LOL! You might be right, but everyone probably knew already, just like that old woman. They're so cute together. *g*

Thanks! :D

on 2005-09-10 06:56 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rayne-y-daze.livejournal.com
Oh, I love this! And Rodney's rant? Perfect!

on 2005-09-11 01:24 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Rodney rants are fun to write. he gets so wound up and irate. *g*

Thanks!

on 2005-09-10 08:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] merlins-sister.livejournal.com
Snort! You really got the characters down pat, and it just felt so plausible. Great work.

on 2005-09-11 01:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm still getting used to the new voices in my head with a new fandom. It's good to know I'm getting them right. :D

on 2005-09-10 10:09 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jackie-brown.livejournal.com
LOL fab last line!

on 2005-09-11 01:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! :D

Rodney is such a faker. *g*

on 2005-09-10 10:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] burningchaos.livejournal.com
This is so wonderful. If I quoted what I liked best the whole fic would be here..=)

on 2005-09-11 01:26 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! :D

on 2005-09-10 12:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com
OMG this was a total LOL all the way to the end! How did you know that I watch Atlantis for the McKay?! Rodney is the bomb - and you wrapped him in the perfect package to set him off to explode! I could SEE this! Like it was on screen in front of me! You have these guys DOWN! And yes, the Teyla action was great too 'I told them I was going to keep all my husbands' *chuckle* subtle and dry - that's our girl! A total riot dear! Now...tell me you have more! You..do..have more...don't you?

on 2005-09-11 01:28 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! I actually posted McSmut an hour or so ago, so yes, there is more. Not more of this particular story, but definitely more McShep, and even more on the way.

I adore Rodney too, (and John, of course) and the snark is what reeled me in to the fandom. :D

on 2005-09-10 12:49 pm (UTC)
spikedluv: (mcshep_onetouch_xanphibian)
Posted by [personal profile] spikedluv
can you do discreet?" Rodney stole the rest of John's words with another sloppy kiss.

"I'll fake it."


Hee! I love that they were outed, and Rodney didn't even know about John's feelings for him, lol!!

on 2005-09-11 01:29 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks!

I think Rodney can be quite oblivious to people actually liking him. It's such a rare occurence he doesn't always recognise it when it happens. *g*

on 2005-09-10 01:35 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] moimoietmoi.livejournal.com
Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!
lol That ficlet was so cute!

on 2005-09-11 01:30 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! :D

All those months, wasted. Rodney will be working John hard to make up for them. ;)

on 2005-09-11 12:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] literati.livejournal.com
Everyone's copied the line that had me all giggly so I won't.

I demand a sequel. We need to see all the smut that happens when they get back.

::puss in boots eyes::

on 2005-09-11 01:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks, sweetie!

Sequel? Maybe. I've already popped my McShep porn cherry so there's no going back now. ;)

on 2005-09-11 11:32 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
:snickersnicker:

I wanna see Ford's reaction!

on 2005-09-19 01:44 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Ford is a good, loyal soldier. he's not asking, he's not telling, he's not even acknowledging that he was actually present during any such conversation on any such planet. *g*

on 2005-09-12 09:08 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bluespirit-star.livejournal.com
That was lovely - thank you.
oblivious!Rodney is so cute!

I saw your friending policy & just thought I'd let you know that I have.
:-)

on 2005-09-19 01:45 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you, and thanks for friending me! I hope you enjoy your time here. :D

Rodney can be so focussed on the big picture (or the impending doom) that he misses the obvious little things, like lovesick majors. *g*

on 2005-09-12 11:55 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] cetpar.livejournal.com
Very funny. What a great story to brighten up the day!

on 2005-09-19 01:45 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! :D

on 2005-09-13 02:07 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] hinokumo.livejournal.com
LOL Oh, just every part of this was hilarious!

Favs:

"Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!"
"I'll fake it."
"Do I look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands? Is it something in the way I hold my gun? The way I stand?"


*G* It's perfect Rodney-speak :D

on 2005-09-19 01:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! My Rodney voice has definitely developed faster than my John voice. I will have to practice a bit to get him flowing smoothly but Rodney just keeps on babbling. *g*

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