Set of 4 drabbles for ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
open_on_sunday's challenge #82 - Shakespeare
Oct. 19th, 2004 01:30 amdarkhavensAuthor: darkhavens
Title: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG-13 (erring on the side of caution)
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
A set of four drabbles, quotes acting as titles of sorts. (I'm not a Shakespeare fan, so I garnered inspiration from the quotes themselves, not the work from whence they came.)
~~~~~
And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.
Julius Caesar, Act 1 Scene 2
Xander leaned across and planted a swift kiss on a mouth open in shock, pulling back before he got lost in the feel of satin soft skin against his lips.
"You have no idea what I see when I look at you. You think I see a cold, harsh, punk who doesn't give a damn? No. I see the beauty in you, the caring in you. I see the loneliness, the love, the need to have someone to call your own, someone who'll call you theirs in turn. I want to be that someone, Spike. Let me be that someone..."
~~~~~
I have immortal longings in me.
"Antony and Cleopatra", Act 5 scene 2
It was a conversation Xander could only imagine having in the dark, curled beneath the bedclothes with his lover in his arms. He'd thought long and hard about what to say if Spike came out and asked. He never thought he'd be the one to voice forbidden words.
"It's been on my mind since Jesse died. Since Angel proved a vampire could be more than death and fangs, I've wondered... And then there was you and your love for Dru. And now there's us, and the choice is easy. Make me yours, Spike. Let me love you forever. Turn me."
~~~~~
The sands are number'd that make up my life.
Henry VI, Part 3, Act 1, Scene 4
...so I decided to write you instead. I'm sending everything to you, G-Man, (and I'm not apologising for that, either) because I know you'll be there for my girls to cry on when they learn why I won't be around any more. Spike didn't talk me into anything, I swear. I asked him, and the truth is, he turned me down at first. He said I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I learned a lot from those books you never believed I actually read. He understands now.
So...
This is the last will and testament of..."
~~~~~
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5
One hundred years and never a night apart. Two halves made whole, two hearts unbeating, one soul shared between them both. They lived well in the darkness, kept each other safe from harm. They watched as all they'd known slowly turned to dust and faded memories, but never once regretted what they'd done, though tears were spilt. They honoured long gone friends and watched their progeny grow up, so sure the bedtime stories were all make-believe and jest. They made their presence felt wherever demons roamed the earth. They revelled in the violence and the blood.
Their love was true.
~~~~~
Part 17
on 2004-11-17 02:50 am (UTC)“You selfish sod.”
Xander’s head snapped upward, a look of confusion mixed with a frown on his lips. “What? I wasn’t being selfish! I was thinking about you!”
“Took the easy way out, didn’t you? Went out, found some little twinkie to fuck? Bet you planned it just right, too. Knew I’d find you there, in our bed.”
“Spike…”
“No. I think I hit the nail right on the head, didn’t I?! You couldn’t handle it so you made sure I wasn’t around to see what a sodding idiot you were!”
“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything!”
Spike laughed. An evil, angered, full of emotion chuckle. “No! I don’t know anything! Because you kept me in the dark and pushed me away!”
Xander was up off the floor and facing down Spike before he had a chance to say anything else. “I pushed you away because I didn’t want you to always worry about fucking me! I know you! You would have said it didn’t matter, but deep down, you’d be terrified. Always wondering, always afraid. Do I have it, will I get it. Is this gonna be the time…I may have to live with this fucking disease, but that doesn’t mean you do!”
Spike stepped in, closing the distance until they were nose to nose. “You didn’t have the right to make that choice!”
“I wasn’t going to let you stay with me out of some stupid sense of loyalty!”
“Loyalty?! You think I would have stayed because of loyalty!?” Spike grit his teeth and shook his head, trying to push his anger down so he could think rationally. “Try love. That’s what you do when you love someone. You stick it through even when life throws a big pile of shit at you.”
“Well this is more than a pile of shit. This is a fucking manure truck.”
Spike blinked at Xander’s sense of humor. He couldn’t help it and found his arms wrapping around Xander’s waist, pulling him in. As angry and hurt as he was, he knew what Xander was going through was magnified ten fold. “How could you possibly think I wouldn’t want to be with you?”
Xander closed his eyes and let his head tilt to rest on Spike’s shoulder. “You say that now. But what about if I’m sick? Or worse? I’ve spent the last two years exercising, eating right, popping meds… doing everything I can to be healthy. It’s not always gonna be this way.”
Spike moved his hand to the back of Xander’s neck, playing with the dark curls. “What about love?”
“What about it? There are always guys around who want to fuck. I’m always up front. Tell ‘em exactly how it is.”
“I wasn’t talking about fucking.”
“I know.”
“So you’ll risk some anonymous stranger, but you pushed me away?”
Xander sighed. “I don’t care about them. I know that may sound cold, but I let them know. If they don’t care, I don’t care. With you, things are different.”
“That should be my choice, pet. You had no right to take it away from me.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened. All it takes is just one time.”
“You’re worth the risk, Xander. If I’d known the truth, I never would have left.”
Re: Part 17
on 2004-11-17 04:29 am (UTC)Uhoh! *g*
“You’re worth the risk, Xander. If I’d known the truth, I never would have left.”
Which is exactly why Xander pulled the Twinkie stunt, I bet.
This is heartbreaking! More, please! *g*