Set of 4 drabbles for ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
open_on_sunday's challenge #82 - Shakespeare
Oct. 19th, 2004 01:30 amdarkhavensAuthor: darkhavens
Title: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG-13 (erring on the side of caution)
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
A set of four drabbles, quotes acting as titles of sorts. (I'm not a Shakespeare fan, so I garnered inspiration from the quotes themselves, not the work from whence they came.)
~~~~~
And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.
Julius Caesar, Act 1 Scene 2
Xander leaned across and planted a swift kiss on a mouth open in shock, pulling back before he got lost in the feel of satin soft skin against his lips.
"You have no idea what I see when I look at you. You think I see a cold, harsh, punk who doesn't give a damn? No. I see the beauty in you, the caring in you. I see the loneliness, the love, the need to have someone to call your own, someone who'll call you theirs in turn. I want to be that someone, Spike. Let me be that someone..."
~~~~~
I have immortal longings in me.
"Antony and Cleopatra", Act 5 scene 2
It was a conversation Xander could only imagine having in the dark, curled beneath the bedclothes with his lover in his arms. He'd thought long and hard about what to say if Spike came out and asked. He never thought he'd be the one to voice forbidden words.
"It's been on my mind since Jesse died. Since Angel proved a vampire could be more than death and fangs, I've wondered... And then there was you and your love for Dru. And now there's us, and the choice is easy. Make me yours, Spike. Let me love you forever. Turn me."
~~~~~
The sands are number'd that make up my life.
Henry VI, Part 3, Act 1, Scene 4
...so I decided to write you instead. I'm sending everything to you, G-Man, (and I'm not apologising for that, either) because I know you'll be there for my girls to cry on when they learn why I won't be around any more. Spike didn't talk me into anything, I swear. I asked him, and the truth is, he turned me down at first. He said I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I learned a lot from those books you never believed I actually read. He understands now.
So...
This is the last will and testament of..."
~~~~~
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5
One hundred years and never a night apart. Two halves made whole, two hearts unbeating, one soul shared between them both. They lived well in the darkness, kept each other safe from harm. They watched as all they'd known slowly turned to dust and faded memories, but never once regretted what they'd done, though tears were spilt. They honoured long gone friends and watched their progeny grow up, so sure the bedtime stories were all make-believe and jest. They made their presence felt wherever demons roamed the earth. They revelled in the violence and the blood.
Their love was true.
~~~~~
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: Part 3
on 2004-10-25 06:04 am (UTC)::puppy eyes::
Lovin' this!
Re: Part 3
on 2004-10-25 06:24 am (UTC)Re: Part 3
on 2004-10-25 06:31 am (UTC)::goes to bed so it will be 'tomorrow' that much sooner:: *g*
Part 4
on 2004-10-25 11:45 pm (UTC)Spike stopped, reacting to the voice that was stomping up behind him. He knew it would happen sooner or later. Xander was wearing him down, making him second-guess why he was still being so cold and heartless. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, his back facing Xander, waiting. He knew he should have just kept walking, but part of him wanted to do this. Needed it.
“Fuck off, Harris.”
Xander heard him and stopped before he reached Spike. Spoken in the same low tone, the words hurt now, just as bad as they had back then. But this time would be different. This time, he wouldn’t let Spike walk out.
“No, I won’t fuck off. We’ve been working together for two weeks! Two weeks and you won’t even acknowledge that I’m in the same room with you!”
Spike remained where he was, but Xander heard a short sigh. Maybe he was finally getting somewhere. “Spike.” When there was no answer, he tried again. “Wil.”
Spike turned around, a stern look to match the hurtful ‘fuck off’. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why? It’s who you are.”
“No. It’s who I was. And that was a long time ago.”
“Not so long…”
“Xander. Don’t do this.” He shook his head and said softly, “We can’t do this.” Spike turned and slumped against the wall, all bravado disappearing as Xander moved closer to him.
“I’m not trying to do anything, Spike. I just want…” His voice cracked with all the uncertainness he was feeling. “Look, I don’t care if we’re not friends. I don’t even care if you never want to see me again after this. I just can’t live with the thought of knowing you still hate me.”
He slowly slid his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the wall, mimicking Spike.
“You should have thought about that before you…” Spike stopped himself. He swore every day since Xander first arrived that he wasn’t going to bring it up. Wasn’t going to dwell on the past. It was hard enough just being around each other. Every smile, every lazy yawn, every accidental touch that couldn’t be avoided while working so closely together reminded him of what they’d lost. Of what he’d lost.
“I know. But whether you believe it or not, I’m sorry.”
Spike’s face snapped around in anger. “Sorry? That’s all you can say is that you’re sorry?”
“Well I am. What else do you expect me to say? What are you looking for?” Xander asked with as much emotion as he could expel.
Spike closed his eyes, tilting his head up toward the ceiling. “Why.”
“What?” Xander looked at Spike, forcing himself to stare into those blue eyes, seeing all the pain hidden behind the angry mask. He swallowed, trying to hold back the shakiness in his voice.
“That’s what’s been eating me alive for two sodding years. I left never knowing why.”
Xander shrugged, exhaling deeply. “I did it for you.”
Re: Part 4
on 2004-10-26 02:25 am (UTC)::is intrigued::
They're both hurting so much... more please? *g*
Part 5
on 2004-10-26 02:34 am (UTC)“You did it for me.”
Xander nodded.
“I come home to find you in our bed! You told me it’d been going on for two months! That you’d been fucking around on me for two fucking months and now you’re saying you did it for me.”
Xander swallowed and nodded again.
“Well that’s just fucking great, Harris. Next time, don’t do me any bloody favors.”
Spike turned, pushing off the wall and began to swagger down the hall, leaving Xander and his ‘I did it for you’ speech.
“Wil!”
“Sod off!” he growled, flipping two fingers at the other man behind him before he walked out the door.
Again, Xander wasn’t strong enough and let him leave.
Re: Part 5
on 2004-10-26 02:38 am (UTC)I wanna know - who? why?
::shakes him again::
Dayum!
Part 6
on 2004-10-26 12:42 pm (UTC)“Shh, I know. It’s alright. Everything’ll be okay.” With sheer gentleness, Spike reached up, pushing a wet strand of hair away from the other man’s face. “You know I’ll never let anything happen to you.”
Xander wiped the tears streaming down his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt as he stared into Spike’s compassionate eyes.
“CUT!”
The sound of the director’s voice ended the scene and Spike and Xander moved away from each other to furthest ends of the sofa. It was the fifth take they’d filmed and Xander’s emotional state was declining rapidly. He knew it would be difficult, reading through the script and realizing how the scene was supposed to play out, but he wasn’t prepared for how much it would actually hurt. Each time he had to pour his heart out and see the tortured expression on Spike’s face, it became much less acting and a lot closer to real, feeling their own situation. As he wiped his face with the warm, damp towel, he looked up, noticing Spike stealing glances at him.
The next time the director yelled ‘cut’, to Xander’s surprise, Spike didn’t move away.
Re: Part 6
on 2004-10-26 07:48 pm (UTC)And Spike didn't move away after the last cut? Ooh, he's weakening...
::bounces and waits for more::
You are gonna introduce yourself after you're done, right? Cos I'm going nuts here wondering...
Re: Part 6
on 2004-11-12 03:59 am (UTC)Re: Part 6
on 2004-11-12 04:04 am (UTC)Just click on 'read comments' or 'view all comments' and scroll down. And enjoy!