'Mary's Smile', John, Sam/Dean
Sep. 21st, 2006 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darkhavensOMG WORDS!
I finally managed to put words together with some kind of coherency... I hope. (Please, tell me if I'm wrong, k? I'm so totally unable to do more than squee, because OMG WORDS!)
Author: darkhavens
Title: Mary's Smile
Pairing/Fandom: Supernatural - John, Sam/Dean
Rating: PG
Words: 550
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Implied Wincest, implied het.
Summary: John recognises one of Dean's smiles and what it means
Notes: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
summercon's Hodgepodge Challenge - here.
Also for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
drvsilla, who requested #048 - 'Discover' on my SPN 100_situations BDT, wanting 'John discovers Sam/Dean'.
Mary's Smile
He can't quite remember when he first realized what was going on. It was no great bolt of lightning revelation, no horrified gasp of discovery from an open bedroom doorway. He never actually saw anything he could point to and say, "See that? There - right in front of me, my own flesh and blood!" In fact, for a pair of Winchester brats, they're amazingly discreet.
The small things speak the loudest.
They used to argue or wrestle or throw knives to decide who got stuck with the grocery run each week, but after a three-day hunting trip that stretched to three weeks, he comes home to hear them say they'll go together. He's too tired right then to do much more than nod, but it keeps happening.
Dean puts on a good show - always ready to point out that Sam never gets the chips Dean likes, the right brand of beans or the freshest loaf of bread. And Sam just rolls his eyes and starts explaining vegetables to Dean until Dean hauls off and hits him and then drags him to the car.
When they go together, they're gone for twice the time it took when only one of them would go, but John doesn't question them. Not even when they come back rumpled, smudged and out of breath, eyes bright, Sam's mop of hair clumped into sweat slick curls at his nape. He trusts them to tell him if they get into trouble.
Then they start visiting the Laundromat together, without him having to threaten to burn their clothes or make them sleep outside. Sam voluntarily joins Dean on his endurance-building runs, foregoing the usual evil eye at John for forcing him to take time away from his studies.
He's so sure that this is all about Sammy coming to terms with how his life has to be - the hunt, vengeance, always being prepared - that it takes a while for him to recognise the smile that Dean sometimes wears when they come back from wherever they've been gone to.
It's Mary's smile. The smile she always wore in bed after they'd spent some time messing up the sheets, getting hot and sweaty, intimate. It almost makes his heart stop.
After that, he can't not look. Obsessively, he catalogs every tiny touch, each sideways glance, the time they're not right there in front of him. He keeps seeing that smile and it nearly breaks him.
But he doesn't say a word, because he knows that smile. He knows that Mary didn't wear it from the start; he didn't see it until their second year of marriage, once they'd gone from being in love to simply loving. It's a smile that says 'I know your feet smell and that you wouldn't floss if I didn't make you. I know you'd rather be messing around under the hood of someone's car than taking me to the movies. I know you think I'm being paranoid when I say that the look in the eyes of the guy you hired last week makes my skin crawl. But I love everything about you, even the bits you hate yourself.'
It's a smile that says, whatever he's seeing now, it's not a new thing.
He wonders just how long he's been blind.
I finally managed to put words together with some kind of coherency... I hope. (Please, tell me if I'm wrong, k? I'm so totally unable to do more than squee, because OMG WORDS!)
Author: darkhavens
Title: Mary's Smile
Pairing/Fandom: Supernatural - John, Sam/Dean
Rating: PG
Words: 550
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Implied Wincest, implied het.
Summary: John recognises one of Dean's smiles and what it means
Notes: Written for
summercon's Hodgepodge Challenge - here.Also for
drvsilla, who requested #048 - 'Discover' on my SPN 100_situations BDT, wanting 'John discovers Sam/Dean'.Mary's Smile
He can't quite remember when he first realized what was going on. It was no great bolt of lightning revelation, no horrified gasp of discovery from an open bedroom doorway. He never actually saw anything he could point to and say, "See that? There - right in front of me, my own flesh and blood!" In fact, for a pair of Winchester brats, they're amazingly discreet.
The small things speak the loudest.
They used to argue or wrestle or throw knives to decide who got stuck with the grocery run each week, but after a three-day hunting trip that stretched to three weeks, he comes home to hear them say they'll go together. He's too tired right then to do much more than nod, but it keeps happening.
Dean puts on a good show - always ready to point out that Sam never gets the chips Dean likes, the right brand of beans or the freshest loaf of bread. And Sam just rolls his eyes and starts explaining vegetables to Dean until Dean hauls off and hits him and then drags him to the car.
When they go together, they're gone for twice the time it took when only one of them would go, but John doesn't question them. Not even when they come back rumpled, smudged and out of breath, eyes bright, Sam's mop of hair clumped into sweat slick curls at his nape. He trusts them to tell him if they get into trouble.
Then they start visiting the Laundromat together, without him having to threaten to burn their clothes or make them sleep outside. Sam voluntarily joins Dean on his endurance-building runs, foregoing the usual evil eye at John for forcing him to take time away from his studies.
He's so sure that this is all about Sammy coming to terms with how his life has to be - the hunt, vengeance, always being prepared - that it takes a while for him to recognise the smile that Dean sometimes wears when they come back from wherever they've been gone to.
It's Mary's smile. The smile she always wore in bed after they'd spent some time messing up the sheets, getting hot and sweaty, intimate. It almost makes his heart stop.
After that, he can't not look. Obsessively, he catalogs every tiny touch, each sideways glance, the time they're not right there in front of him. He keeps seeing that smile and it nearly breaks him.
But he doesn't say a word, because he knows that smile. He knows that Mary didn't wear it from the start; he didn't see it until their second year of marriage, once they'd gone from being in love to simply loving. It's a smile that says 'I know your feet smell and that you wouldn't floss if I didn't make you. I know you'd rather be messing around under the hood of someone's car than taking me to the movies. I know you think I'm being paranoid when I say that the look in the eyes of the guy you hired last week makes my skin crawl. But I love everything about you, even the bits you hate yourself.'
It's a smile that says, whatever he's seeing now, it's not a new thing.
He wonders just how long he's been blind.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:02 pm (UTC)Very well written, my darling. You've found your words! Yay!!
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:27 pm (UTC)Thank you, darlin'! I have to admit that most of this was scribbled weeks ago during a break at work, but I managed to add to it and tweak it and I still feel damn proud of finally being able to string words together again. I was really starting to worry.
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:07 pm (UTC)Seriously, welcome back to the muses and this was wonderful!
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:31 pm (UTC)Losing my words is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I spent most of my 20s not writing and it was a very depressing time. YAY WORDS!
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-21 08:11 pm (UTC)I think true love is when you see the stinky socks in the corner, and you see the stubble in the sink, and you smile, because it's their socks, and their stubble. ;)
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-21 08:14 pm (UTC)I think John must have (eventually) got used to seeing little flashes of Mary in both of his boys, but that smile would stand out as special, as theirs.
no subject
on 2006-09-21 07:40 pm (UTC)Wheeeeeee! Hi!
And ooh, luff. Poor John - no clue what to do! Luff this:
And Sam just rolls his eyes and starts explaining vegetables to Dean until Dean hauls off and hits him and then drags him to the car.
Heeee!
Hope you don't mind a teeny thing...'messing about under the hood' would prolly be 'messing around'. About's just not used that way here much. *Some*, but not much.
no subject
on 2006-09-21 08:19 pm (UTC)Thanks for the tweak! (Always, always appreciated.)
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
Posted byno subject
on 2006-09-21 07:55 pm (UTC)Dean has Mary's smile and this kinda makes my heart break for John.
Obsessively,he catalogs every tiny touch,each sideways glance,the time they're not right there in front of him. He keeps seeing that smile and it nearly breaks him.
yeah,right here.
no subject
on 2006-09-21 09:06 pm (UTC)I think, between the two of them, Sam and Dean must have at least a couple of Mary's mannerisms and quirks. Every new one probably takes John by surprise, but this one would be a real shocker.
(no subject)
Posted byno subject
on 2006-09-21 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-21 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-21 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:01 pm (UTC)I hadn't written a JohnFindsOut fic before, and I didn't want it to be loud or violent or gaspshockhorror. This way I got to suckerpunch John without any actual blood being spilled. *g*
no subject
on 2006-09-21 11:22 pm (UTC)This is so beautiful, babe. Just gorgeous!
no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:03 pm (UTC)And I miss you!
no subject
on 2006-09-22 12:16 am (UTC)I mean, the fact that John is clueless, then gets a clue and freaks out a bit, but then gets a deeper clue and chooses not to freak out in front of the boys, it all just seems really true to John as I understand his character. I mean, the Sam/Dean squicks him a bit, but he's not going to stop the boys from finding love and joy in each other.
no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:07 pm (UTC)In my head I can see John reacting a dozen different ways to a discovery like this, but this one nearly broke my heart because it's mary's smile and that has to burn.
I seem to be responsible for
corruptingconverting quite a few of my flisters. Multifandom is the way to be. :Dno subject
on 2006-09-22 12:18 am (UTC)It's Mary's smile. The smile she always wore in bed after they'd spent some time messing up the sheets, getting hot and sweaty, intimate. It almost makes his heart stop.
It makes my heart break for John, and feel so happy for Dean.
no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:14 pm (UTC)My heart broke for John too - I felt almost guilty writing it, it's such deep, quiet pain. But I am inherently evil so meh. :D
no subject
on 2006-09-22 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:39 pm (UTC)Loving him despite the fact he wears socks in bed, is better than being so in love you don't notice the socks in bed, because one of those days you're gong feel clammy cotton at your ankles and the bubble's going to burst. *g*
no subject
on 2006-09-22 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:43 pm (UTC)I saw your post in spnstoryfinders looking to find this again today and it made my evening. (I am so easily pleased sometimes. *g*)
(no subject)
Posted byno subject
on 2006-09-22 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 10:18 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:52 pm (UTC)Sadly, the words are more still gone than not, but at least I know they haven't deserted me for good. :D
no subject
on 2006-09-22 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-27 11:58 pm (UTC)I think John could spend an eternity trying to figure out when it started - remembering all the wrestling matches on the floor in front of the TV, all the secret shipsering going on in the back seat of the Impala... It could drive him mad. *stomps on the bunny* ;)
no subject
on 2006-09-22 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 02:10 pm (UTC)Heartwarming. Profound. Touching. *smile*
no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Posted byno subject
on 2006-09-22 03:28 pm (UTC)making the discovery that S&D are more than they
appear. I really enjoyed reading this fic. Thank
you for sharing.
Debbie
no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:06 am (UTC)I like having people find out or figure out that they're more. I've had Missouri do that a couple of times but this was my first shot with John.
There will probably more - I can think of so many different ways for him to react. :D
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
Posted byno subject
on 2006-09-22 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 04:03 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-22 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:10 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-23 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-28 12:16 am (UTC)I haven't seen (m)any fic where the boys have some of Mary's habits or traits, and that kind of smile tends to stand out a mile once you know what you're looking at. And Dean not having a clue what he's giving away with that smile just made it even sweeter because dammit, they've been so careful...
I think the new guy just had a roving eye - one of those men who strip you naked with one glance and make you want to put your thickest coat on over a pair of longjohns, just to hide. ;)