darkhavens: text icon: 15 m/m pairings in dk purple, with paler txt darkhavens and even paler txt multifandom ho. (Default)
[personal profile] darkhavens
Author: darkhavens
Title: Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound
Pairing: Spike/Xander, Xander/Anya
Rating: 18+
Words: 3283
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Xander's whisky bent and hell bound in all the literal ways. *g*
Notes: Because I love you all I'm not making you wait until tonight for the next fic. *g* This is the second of my unrelated pieces written for [livejournal.com profile] brandil and [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue's Music of Pain Xander-centric ficathon. (Masterlist available Monday 11 July.) And despite [livejournal.com profile] literati's best attempts, this is the complete story. Whatever happens afterwards is all in your heads, k?



Lyrics to 'Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound' by Hank Williams Jr

I've got a good woman at home who thinks I do no wrong
But sometimes lord, she just ain't always around
And you know that's when I fall, I can't help myself at all
And I get whiskey bent and hell bound

Play me some songs about a ramblin' man, put a cold one in my hand,
'cause you know I love to hear those guitar sounds
Don't you play 'I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry' cause I'll get all balled up
inside
And I'll get whiskey bent and hell bound

Sure enough about closing time, (I'm) about stoned out of my mind
And I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home
And I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound

Play me some songs about a ramblin' man, put old Jim Beam in my hand
'cause you know I still love to get drunk and hear country sounds
But don't you play 'Your Cheatin' Heart' cause that'll tear me all apart
I'll get whiskey bent and hell bound

Yeah, old Hank's songs always make me feel low down




Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound

The wedding goes off without a hitch - despite everything - and Anya and Xander slowly, happily, settle into married life.

Six weeks later Xander's lifelong shell of denial develops cracks.

He goes out with some guys from work to celebrate a promotion, gets roaring drunk, and wakes up very naked and totally screwed. By Spike. There is panic and denial. There are threats and accusations. There are recriminations flying thick and fast.

Xander dresses in record time and flees the crypt as dawn breaks, blocking out the quickly veiled hurt in Spike's eyes.

And life in the Harris household goes on as usual, for the next few months, until Xander has a little too much to drink at a workmate's birthday bash.

Again he wakes at dawn, his body tangled with another, cooler, form. And once again he panics, pouring scorn and loathing on the rumpled, sated vampire.

He flees the crypt and avoids touching alcohol for weeks. He would have liked to avoid touching Anya too, but she has 'needs'. And so life in the Harris household goes on as usual.

The fifth time it happens, Xander isn't quite as drunk. He wakes up knowing exactly what he's done. He clearly remembers begging Spike to - 'Please, Baby' - fuck him, knees bent over shoulders, hands knotted into sheet-filled fists. The memory of the way Spike feels - 'Ohmygod! Yes! Thererightthere! - inside him causes his dick to twitch, and a heavy shroud of guilt wraps around his heart. He never comes like that with Anya, he's never once passed out. With her he always keeps a minute part under tight control, a discipline he hasn't even noticed until now. He's never dared to lose himself with any girl like that, but Spike has somehow...

"Staying for a morning session this time, are you, Pet? Did you tell the missus you'd be out all night?"

Heart palpitations, from the shock of Spike whispering those - any - words in his ear, coincide with the rush of blood to his groin as his dick reacts favourably to just the thought of a bonus morning session, and Xander almost passes out again. He shakes his head to clear it, unknowingly transmitting his decision.

"Right then. You gonna start with all the screaming and shouting while you're getting dressed, or can we, just this once, take it all as read? Undead, unclean, unwanted, I know the drill. Just get your kit on and run back to the clueless little wife, okay? I'm sure you'll be back here soon enough."

And Xander leaves without a word, sneaking home to curl up on the couch the way he always does, so Anya can believe he came home drunk and just passed out.

The memories replay themselves at inconvenient times. Every time he slips between her thighs he feels Spike there, buried deep inside him. And he comes.

Anya uses women's magazines to diagnose him - premature ejaculation brought about by stress - and tells him he should spend more time with friends, more time relaxing. She decides he'll spend each Friday night out with the guys, drinking, playing pool, just having fun. She's the one who phones him up at work to say 'don't hurry home', 'you must relieve your stress so you're relaxed so we can have more sex', and obediently he does what he is told.

Of course, the only thing that really does relieve his stress is getting buggered hard and fast by Spike. So, under orders, and he really feels he is, he buys a couple of bottles of decent whisky. He's going to go and see Spike when he's sober, just this once, so they can talk this over, over drinks. Maybe they can come to some... arrangement, about stress relief.

He knows it's no solution but surely it's a start. Maybe if he gets this out of his system it'll all work out? He'll go back to his wife and settle down and they'll be happy. They'll have the kids, the cottage, and the little wrought iron fence. Not pickets - Anya thinks they look like stakes. And until then he'll do what Anya wants and practice stress relief. So long as no one knows it'll be okay... right?

on 2005-07-09 04:24 pm (UTC)
tabaqui: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] tabaqui
Oh you evol, evol thing.
:)
*bounce*

on 2005-07-10 12:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Me? Evol? Whatever do you mean? *blinks innocently*

It's all Xander's fault. He should have got drunk before the wedding, woken up in Spike's bed and never left. Silly boy.

Thanks! :D

on 2005-07-09 04:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] writan-bur.livejournal.com
oh wow... you make the helplessness and the trap Xander fell in so clear... and it looks like there's no way out, but there's always hope in my heart that the boys will work it out in the end...

on 2005-07-10 12:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! It's a trap of his own making, but it'll still hurt when he gets caught. *g*

on 2005-07-09 04:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] realtsunamigirl.livejournal.com
Argh. That was soooo good in such a horrifying way.

You make it hurt so nice:-)

on 2005-07-10 12:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Hee! I do enjoy torturing those boys sometimes. *g*

Thanks!

on 2005-07-09 05:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] reremouse.livejournal.com
Hurt them like that some more! You make it good.

on 2005-07-10 12:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Heeeeee! That sounds so bad. Say it again! *g*

Thankee, sweetie.

on 2005-07-09 05:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taruma16.livejournal.com
That was good! It hurt like hell to see them like this!!
But you're really good at it!!!

on 2005-07-10 12:30 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Hee! Thankee. It's a skill I've spent many months acquiring. *g*

on 2005-07-09 07:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] yin-again.livejournal.com
Heh! Love it.

on 2005-07-10 12:33 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thankee. :D

on 2005-07-09 09:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] outsideth3box.livejournal.com
Oh, that was just *nasty*, baby girl. Seriously f*&^d up. And so totally Xander.

Spike, ever more completely the butt-monkey than Xander...

Just...ouch.

on 2005-07-10 12:34 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks! And yes... ouch. For everyone concerned, so at least I didn't pick on just the one. Spike and Xander suffer now, and Anya gets a taste too if/when she figures it out. Equal opportunity ouch! *g*

on 2005-07-09 10:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] werewindle.livejournal.com
Gah. I feel bad for Spike, I mean I know Xander is traped or what ever with Anya but Spike gets the short end here. Nicely writen none-the-less.

on 2005-07-10 12:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you. :D

I like to think that Spike is playing the long game. Not something he's too clever at, really, but there's always a first time. ;)

on 2005-07-10 12:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] literati.livejournal.com


So that's it, is it? All the begging and pleading and let's not forget the whining. All for nothing. It's over. No more Hank.

::sobs::

::shuffles feet::

I'll get him anyway I can, I guess. ::sniff::

::clings and adds him to memories::

on 2005-07-10 12:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
^^^pets you^^^
*smooches you*
Thankee baby. :D

on 2005-07-10 01:09 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] paradise4writin.livejournal.com
*sniffles*

aww poor boys!

Great job

on 2005-07-13 12:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks. They're both hurting but they aint gonna stop. *g*

on 2005-07-10 06:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] blinding-sight.livejournal.com
NOOOOOOOO!!!

Standalone? No standalone! Fix it!

on 2005-07-13 12:23 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Hee! Yes. Standalone. I am evil. I know this. [livejournal.com profile] literati has told me so every time I've said no to extending 'Hank' so she can see the vengeance-wreaking of Anya and the happy ending she is positive I'll add. *g*

on 2005-07-10 11:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] virtualpersonal.livejournal.com
This was both heartbreaking and hot. I can just see Spike taking whatever Xander dishes out, knowing he'll be back. Loved the dialogue.

on 2005-07-13 12:30 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks. I love writing dialogue between those two, and yes, Xander will keep going back and going back until something happens.

on 2005-07-10 06:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ailise.livejournal.com
Oh, Xander.

And Anya.

And Spike.

::aches::

on 2005-07-13 12:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Aw. *hugs*

They survive... I think. ;)

on 2005-07-11 03:26 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spikes_heart.livejournal.com
Once again my poor vamp is secretly used to make someone else feel better. What a horrid lot in unlife. And still, he gives. What a charitable fella. **grins**

on 2005-07-13 12:33 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
He is a truly charitable fellow, always ready to help a friend in need. And Xander needs so much help. ;)

on 2005-07-11 12:59 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] brandil.livejournal.com
I feel the pain and I love it. Fabulous!

on 2005-07-13 12:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you! I don't often do pain, which is probably why I ended up doing three MoP fics - I had a backlog. *g* So glad it worked!

on 2005-07-11 01:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tx-cronopio.livejournal.com
Xander on the DL, very nicely done!!! And an imaginative concept.

on 2005-07-13 12:36 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you. :D

I saw the title and thought 'oh yeah!' and then read the lyrics and had the whole fic in my head before I'd even signed up for the 'thon.

on 2005-07-11 08:01 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spikendru.livejournal.com
Woot! I loved this! Absolutely perfect! Poor, clueless Anya . . . *sniff* But, the boys! Yay! Loved your Spike voice.

on 2005-07-13 12:40 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks. :D

My Spike voice gets into arguments with my Xander voice even when I'm not writing. They entertain me while I'm at work and sometimes I take notes. *g*

on 2005-07-13 03:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spikendru.livejournal.com
They entertain me while I'm at work and sometimes I take notes.

Aaah, the mark of a true writer! You can't shut the characters up, even if you wanted to! *g*

on 2005-07-12 02:49 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] savoytruffle.livejournal.com
sad, but beautifully real. a scenario i could really see happening.

on 2005-07-13 12:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thank you! Xander's just so damn easy to hurt like that when he hasn't accepted his sexuality. ;)

on 2005-07-12 07:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sottovoce10.livejournal.com
Loved the tone of this story, all summary and attitude, and poor, in denial Xander given up to the reader. Very cleverly done.

on 2005-07-13 12:49 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Loved the tone of this story, all summary and attitude, and poor, in denial Xander given up to the reader. Very cleverly done.

Oh, thank you so much! This style is so different from my usual that I honestly didn't know if it worked well at all, and nobody else had mentioned it so... Thank you!

on 2005-07-12 01:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com
This is one of the rare stories where Xander and Spike hook up while X's with Anya that I can believe. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone, he's just...kinda hell bound on rediscovering that feeling any chance he can get. :) Loved Spike's "You gonna start with all the screaming and shouting while you're getting dressed, or can we, just this once, take it all as read?" Wonderful use of the song, too.

on 2005-07-13 12:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Thanks. :D

It's not an idea I've ever used before. I usually split Xander/Anya up and then get the boys together, but I saw the title and got a bunny and then read the lyrics and had the whole story in my head before I even signed up. *g*

on 2005-07-14 01:46 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bytemi66.livejournal.com
Damn. I am *so* very far behind with my reading. Nice 'n angsty with confused Xander with hurt and used Spike. Dare we hope for more?

on 2005-07-18 01:56 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] darkhavens.livejournal.com
Hee! Thanks, but no, no more. This one came to a very definite halt inside my head. the muse refused to provide the discovery, the vengeance or the eventual happy ending that several people have wanted. The story ended itself with a non-ending that everyone can play with in their heads. ;)

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