'Food Porn', three for slashthedrabble challenge #53 - Feast and/or Famine

[darkhavens]

Author: darkhavens
Title: Food Porn
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard of Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: PG
Words: 100x3
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Rodney+Food=Porn
Notes: This trio of drabbles also responds to challenges #36 - Breakfast, #37 - Lunch, and #38 - Dinner, in my slash_100 Big Damn Table. (5, 6, + 7/100)



Breakfast

John felt almost masochistic watching Rodney eat; he ended every meal at least half-hard. Rodney turned the gustatory hell of rubber eggs and not-ham into something more resembling high-grade porn.

Once that first overcooked, under-flavoured, mouthful touched his tongue, Rodney was in heaven and John was trapped in hell. Each moan and groan and sated sigh, each mumbled 'Oh, God, yes,' fluttered down to land in John's lap, and worked like eager hands.

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert.



Lunch

John tried hard not to be too obvious or predictable - he limited deliveries to non-consecutive days. He didn't count the protein bars and MREs he took off world; they couldn't have Rodney fainting in a crisis.

He tried his best to vary Rodney's diet in his lunchtime sallies. Toasted almost-cheese on wild grain bread with mystery soup went well. Salads were examined with distrust and then ignored, unless they came tucked neatly in a bun with 'real' food.

The first time Rodney took a bite without his routine check for citrus, John excused himself and took a long, cold shower.



Dinner

The Tragor were a friendly bunch and everything went well, at least until they all sat down for dinner - then the weirdness started.

Rodney, as was usual, got John to taste the food, but after his first mouthful, silence fell.

"When dining with our partners," - hands were clasped around the table - "we only feed each other, not ourselves. It is our way."

Doriel, in charge of trading, smiled with steely eyes, and motioned to the food laid out before them.

"Please."

Rodney looked at John, who looked at Rodney, then the food and back. Rodney licked his lips. John whimpered.

Comments

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

gmmmmmphh. I'M whimpering. This is great!

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert.

Brilliant.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

I had this vision of John shuddering out a silent orgasm at the table, while watching Rodney lick the icecream off his spoon. *drools*

[mcalex22.livejournal.com]

Ohhohoho! This is absolutely fantastic and so well written! I feel a tad bit (but not that much because it is Rodney afterall) sorry for John... poor guy sitting down with a stiffie and listening to Rodney make all those obscene moans and groans!

Maybe he should act on his feelings to uh alleviate the tension!

Great story! :D

[chaps1870.livejournal.com]

Well that was damn fine food porn. Kudos to you. :)

[tabaqui]

Heeeeeeeeee!!
Yis yis!!
*snerk*

I love it. Poor John!
*la la la*

[catmoran.livejournal.com]

Salads were examined with distrust and then ignored, unless they came tucked neatly in a bun with 'real' food.

lol!

Rodney licked his lips. John whimpered.

Poor John. He needs to start wearing longer jackets. *g*

[iadorespike]

OMG, I love you. This is the most awesome of 'food porn'. You just made my evening...:)

Anna

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert. I'm *whimpering*!!

[sp23.livejournal.com]

Heee! No wonder John wears his pants so baggy. It helps to hide the action goin' on down below after a quick meal with Rodney. These were all great fun. *g*

[piratepurple.livejournal.com]

Guh.

[gorgon-mythos.livejournal.com]

Dare I say "Mmmm Yummy McSheppiness" I love it when it is one way idolization. Just...yumminess

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

How cute!

[a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com]

This was too good.... Poor John! Well, then again - it's his fault for sitting there without iron underwear!*G*! Lovely food porn honey! Fantastic!
*Raids 'fridge...*
Mandy

[bloodygoodgirl.livejournal.com]

Freakin awesome.
Food porn is my new kink. Cause that was just highly enjoyable. I loved the image of John at the end. Poor boy.

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

OKay, you've now rendered me unconscious with teh food pr0n GUH. I kinda think that banquet scene must be written.

[toniabarone.livejournal.com]

Damn. *L* Poor John. Thanks for these.

[mackeygenius.livejournal.com]

*snicker* I know someone who's suffering,lol.

[cedara]

Nice!

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

Wow. Hot. And yeah, maybe that does explain John's ill-fitting pants. The end was great, but my favorite bit was lunch, where Rodney's growing trust destroys John. Also, apparently SeekritCrush!John is one of my favorite things ever.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:giggles:

[loldemort.livejournal.com]

Bravo maestra! Bravo! Very nicely controlled and with such a light touch! My particular favourite:

"each mumbled 'Oh, God, yes,' fluttered down to land in John's lap, and worked like eager hands".

[princess-s.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe!! Rodney + food what a combination!! Poor John, this was fab, more please!!

[ruggerdavey.livejournal.com]

Just...god. Guh.

Really awesome.

[jissa.livejournal.com]

::whimpers::

seriously, this definitely has me wimpering with sheer guh-ness of it. I can only feel *really* sorry for John who has to actually experience it while acting normally. Poor, poor John . . .

[crystalheaven.livejournal.com]

*whimpers*

I happen to have been eating while reading this. *looks at apple*

Though now, I have a sudden urge to go find something that needs a spoon....

*loves so very, very much*

[fairestcat]

*whimpers right along with John*

Serious GUH.