Four drabbles for open_on_sunday's challenge #90, Liquids.

[darkhavens]

Author: darkhavens
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG-13
Email: darkhavens@slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: The prompt was liquids, and it's been filtered through my mind, so be prepared...



Nature's Nectar

"Just one sip. Go on... It won't kill you, Xander. It's not going to do anything to you. It's all natural stuff, no additives or chemicals, just pure nature in a mug."

Xander pulled a face as the mug was wafted under his nose.

"No, Spike, I'm not drinking it. Not a swallow, not a sip, not at all. Just the smell of it makes my stomach turn. And the colour? Ew! I don't care what you say, drinking that stuff isn't natural. I'm not going to do it and you can't make me."

"It's only tea, you great pillock."





Not All Demons Get Dusted

"I can't believe it just liquefied! Was it supposed to do that? Was there anything in any of Giles' books that said it would do that, because I'm pretty sure he never mentioned anything about it going from ten foot tall, eight foot wide snot green demon to ten foot tall, eight foot wide, snot green tidal wave of goo."

Xander turned to take his first look at Spike, and nearly choked on his tongue. Snot green goo coated the horrified vampire from head to toe.

"Thank you for protecting me, Spike. You're my hero. Spike? Spike! No, don't! Eeeeew!"





Emergency Supplies

"You know, Spike, there's a lot to be said for carrying emergency condoms."

Spike turned a stunned expression on his human lover.

"What are you on about, pet? Card-carrying member of the undead here, remember? No chance of spreading disease, or making anyone pregnant, though I'm sure you'd look very bonny in dungarees..."

Straightening up and turning, Xander slowly eased his boxers and cargo pants back into place and fumblingly tucked himself in.

"I know. But if we carried condoms, I wouldn't have to squelch all the way home whenever you get the irresistible urge to jump me in public."





Daily Cuppa

"You're so good to me, Spike. You know just what I need after a crappy day going over contracts. Thanks!"

Xander snatched up the mug and downed half the contents in three large gulps. The fourth went slower, giving him a chance to actually savour the perfectly sweetened coffee his lover always greeted him with at the end of a long day at work. Except it wasn't perfectly sweetened, and it certainly wasn't coffee. Horrified eyes locked onto Spike's as the kettle began to sing.

"You're a bit earlier than I expected, love. I was just having a quick snack..."

Comments

[literati.livejournal.com]

The prompt was liquids, and it's been filtered through my mind, so be prepared...

you know.. I really wish you'd given me this warning.. still I laughed so I'm not that traumatised ;)

My fave is Nature's Nectar.. pillock... hee!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Ah, but you already know what to expect. You spend plenty of time in my mind anyways. ;o) Thanks, sweetie! *smooch*

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are the greatest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, I seem to have an exclamation addiction. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Hee!
::collects up the extraneous exclamation marks and distributes them randomly::
Thanks!
My mind was blank all through Sunday and Monday. I couldn't come up with a thing. And then suddenly, today, it's liquids of all types! *g*

[moimoietmoi.livejournal.com]

emergency condoms? squelch???
Bwahahahahaha!!!!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

That was the last one to get written. I did the other three and knew there was something missing, and then suddenly thought 'SQUELCH!'.

Glad I made you Bwahaha!

[moimoietmoi.livejournal.com]

Well, I often think about the "squelch" and the wet spot after a sex scene! lol
It felt so very familiar! lol

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaaah. It always makes me wonder. When they're in bed, they use a t-shirt or towel to clean up, but outdoor sex always seem to end with them just pulling their pants back up and walking away, and it occurred to me that it must be very squelchy when you're the catcher. *g*

[moimoietmoi.livejournal.com]

lol
I imagine Xan and Spike having steamy sex in a cemetery and then Xan going back home with a big wet spot on the back of his trousers! *snort*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

So that's why he wears such horrific baggy shirts. To cover the wet spot! *g*

[spikes_heart.livejournal.com]

Love the last one. Serves Mr. Grabby Hands right. **giggles**

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

But he was thirsty! *g*

Thanks. :o)

[adis723.livejournal.com]

Snot green goo hugs and squelching? Love it!
though I'm sure you'd look very bonny in dungarees..."
*pictures it*
*gets a bit scared*
*dissolves into giggles*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Hee! A perfect reaction. Yay!

And I'm sure a pregnant Xander would look very bonny in dungarees. Denim, of course. :P Thanks!

[vampirefever.livejournal.com]

Loved them as usual.
No. 3 was so vivid it seemed to come with actual sound effects. Poor Xander I can hear him now - lol!
:-)

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

LOL! LJ, now with added Squelch-i-vision! Ta!

[murielle.livejournal.com]

They all made me laugh long and loud, but the first and last made me laugh longer and louder. :-))

Good drabbles! ::pats the good drabbles::

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The first and last were the original inspirations, and the other two came later. :o)

[willshenilshe.livejournal.com]

Grinning from ear to ear here, and that's quite the accomplishment on your behalf. I love a good chuckle (but I have to ask, have you been infected with eatenbyweasels?) Bravo!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Yay! ::feels all accomplished::

And no, I don't believe I've been infected. But it could be one of those silent but deadly infections, where you never know until it's much much too late... *g*

::bows::

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!

I can't decide which one I like better. The thing about tea (I agree, tea just can't beat cocoa), snot green goo *cackles*, the 'squelch' *grins*, or that last one. *giggles* That last line made me laugh so damn hard...and I'm still laughing.

Thank you so much for the laughs sweetie!

~Nebula

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Glad I could make you laugh. I was snickering as I wrote them. *g*

[tabaqui]

Heeeee!!!
Fun, fun, fun.
:)
*bounce*
I like them all, but three and four were particularly amusing.
*hug*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thanks! The squelchy one was the last one to pop into my head and I snickered as I wrote it. :o)

[funkparadise.livejournal.com]

LMAO

The snot demon and the last one!

Gawd, I love you.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! *smooch*

[amejisuto.livejournal.com]

You are wonderful and evol all at once!!

Xander didn't even taste the first three gulps, did he? **giggles**

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

You are wonderful and evol all at once!!

I am indeed. *g* Thankee!

And nope, he just chugged it down and then realised... Hee!

[ponders-life.livejournal.com]

Love your sense of humor, DH!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *g*

I got it from my mother. She's even worse than I am, though I do seem to be growing into it. ;o)

[read-a-lot.livejournal.com]

*rofl* that was fun-tastic (fantastic), I read it first in the morning and it is great to start the day laughing hard about a funny Story.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :o) I love making people laugh

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

Eeee! Squelch! Now I'm never going to be able to read an alley-sex scene without going "squelch squelch squelch!"

And yet the one that really icked me out was #4. Ewwwww, poor Xander drinking blood.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Now I'm never going to be able to read an alley-sex scene without going "squelch squelch squelch!"

Hee! Now I'm not alone in my insanity. :P

unless of course it's Spike's blood from the source, because then I have a kink about that.

Oh gods, me too! *g*

[cloudiecat.livejournal.com]

Oh, ewww, poor Xan drinking Spike's blood snack, lol - love these liquid drabbles - very funny:-)

cloudie

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Serves him right for grabbing without asking. *g*

[yourlibrarian]

Enjoyed the drabbles but the funniest thing to me were the titles you chose for them :>

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Hee! I had fun coming up with them. The third one was nearly 'Not All Demons Go Poof' but I figured that might confuse some people. *g*

Thanks!

[nashmaveric.livejournal.com]

::falls down laughing:: The last two they killed me! ::giggles madly::

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

::revives you::

Thankee! I must admit i was chortling evilly as I wrote them. ;o)

[wildannuette.livejournal.com]

Hi,

Just posted a 'Hi' in response to yours on my journal. Still can't work out everything on this LJ stuff, but 'hello' and thanks for mailing me. PLus......

Lol, Absolutely wicked drabbles, my favourite is emergency supplies, but they all made me laugh :)

wildannuette

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

'Emergency Supplies' was almost an afterthought. I was all ready to post the three I'd got and then I suddenly thought of another fluid and how it might be experienced. *g*

I just went and checked your 'Hi' post and saw that you now know how to reply to comments. It takes a while to get used to LJ but once you do you'll never leave. It's addictive! ;o)

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

Mwahahahahah!

The third is too good, though the first is certainly a prize winner. Poor Xander in both cases. Though Spike pretecting his lover from the evil green goo... priceless!

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

okay, because I'm a moron and didn't see the first (good and funny.), the 'first' I'm talking about in my last comment is actually the second.

*slaps forehead*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Thanks! The pic I had in my head, of Spike with green goo all over the coat, and the hair, and even dripping off his nose? definitely priceless. *g*

[spikedluv]

Xander not liking tea and refusing to drink it, liquifying demons, and squelching were all funny enough, but the last one nearly made me spit out my soda. Eeuww. Poor Xander, lol!!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Hee!

Serves him right for grabbing and gulping. *g*

Every time I read an al fresco sex scene now I keep imagining the squelch. LOL!