darkhavens

Author: darkhavens
Title: Wilfully Oblivious, 2/5
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Fandom: Buffy
Rating: R (because you all have dirty minds)
Words: 466
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: "There are none so blind, as those who would not see..."
Notes: Written for

stagesoflove 2006, Round 2, 'Exploring the Relationship Through The Senses', stage #2 - Hearing.
Stage #1 - Sight.
Also posted here.

Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring. Click.

"Hi, this is Xander Harris... well, his answering machine. I'm either too busy to come to the phone or I'm off slaying… laundry or delivering pizzas or something. Please leave your message after th…" Click. Beeeeeeeeeep.

"Hey, Xander, I'm just calling to invite you to another fun night of research at the Magic Box. Something ooky is stealing people's pets down around South and Vine and it's leaving the bones in weird little piles in the park. We need to find out what it is before it starts stealing babies. Come by about seven, Giles is springing for pizza. Oh, and Giles says to ask you to let Spike know if you see him, but it's not like you're friends or anything, right, so I don't know what that's about. Seven o'clock. Don't forget!"

Clunk.

"Spike?" Yawn. "Was that Buffy on the phone?"

Bedsprings creak.

"Don't know, luv, and I don't care. She's probably wanting you to go out and get yourself beaten senseless again for no good reason except to keep her new shoes clean."

"Hey, we agreed. No dissing the…"

"Personally, I’d rather fuck you senseless, but if you're not up for it again so soon, I suppose I could burn off all this excess energy killing demons for her royal Buffness."

"No, no, I think I can force myself to… Oh! Oh, yeah, Spike, that’s… Just right th-ah!"

~~~~~Two days later~~~~~

Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring. Click.

"Hi, this is Xander Harris... well, his answering machine. I'm either too busy to come to the phone or I'm off slaying… laundry or delivering pizzas or something. Please leave your message after th…" Click. Beeeeeeeeeep.

"Xander? While I'm fairly certain you're not in any immediate danger, even if you are doing what I think you're doing with Spike, and please God may I never have cause to think that again… Ah, where was I? Oh, yes. While I don't imagine you're lying in a bleeding, broken heap on your kitchen floor, Willow and Buffy are not so easily convinced and are therefore on their way to save you. I'm sure that you and Spike would rather be dressed and vaguely vertical when they burst in to rescue you from - I believe giant mutant killer roaches won the straw poll, despite my abstention from the vote. Well, I just thought it advisable to warn you they were on their way, fully armed and-"

Clunk.

"Oh no… Spike? Spike, wake up! Damn clingy vampire! What are you, part octopus? Let me go! Wake up and get some pants on before Willow and Buffy get here. Did I mention I gave Willow a spare key, just in case? Come on, come on, get up already!"

Thud thud.

"Xander? Are you in there? Are you okay?"

rattle rattle clink…

Part Three